Valley girl update

They say there'll be a Vice Presidential debate on television later this week. The conventional wisdom is that Mayberry will do much better than expected and that Biden will have to restrain himself so that the spirit of chivalry is maintained. Biden is mistake-prone himself, so the narrative that's already emerging is that Mayberry will win the debate. This is another example of the similarity between Mayberry and Banjo Boy. In both cases, the bar was set low. In Banjo Boy's case, the expectations were so low he couldn't help surpassing them.

To me the election has come down to this simple reality: Speedo either picked Mayberry as his running mate or was so weak he couldn't keep her off the ticket. In either case, he's been disqualified as presidential material and can go to hell.

Lookin' out for number one

An article in the morning newspaper describes how Bible Spice used her authority as mayor of Wasilla to get special breaks, exceptions, freebies and privileges for herself, her family and her friends. Some of it was small-time stuff, but Failin's a small-time operator. Using her office to feather her own nest ? No wonder the GOP looked at her and saw an up-and-comer.

Who pisses me off most ? The Republicans who nominated this bimbo to begin with, or the American people who are letting them get away with it ? I honestly can't decide which is worse. One thing's certain: as long as we act like sheep, we'll keep getting sheared.

Added 10:58 pm: Just saw the YouTube of Failin and Speedo being interviewed by Katie together. It just keeps getting worser and worser. Whenever I try to listen to that chick, my brain feels like it's being soaked in sulfuric acid.

Sunday, winding down

For years I spent Sunday afternoons in September watching NFL games on television, but I'm now at a point that I get easily bored by them. I tried to watch some of the Dallas vs Washington game, but the Cowboys (or Cab Boys as their owner refers to them) chose this weekend to mail it in. I have enough trouble staying interested in Dallas when they're winning. If they're losing, fuck 'em.

I finished my Sunday morning walk and spent most of the afternoon catching up on political stuff being discussed on the blogs. After all's said and done, I guess Speedo is less offensive than the other Republicans who ran for the GOP nomination, but his behavior just gets harder and harder for me to tolerate, and the utter contempt for America that the Spaylin choice demonstrates should in itself be enough to disqualify him. I watched part of Mayberry's infamous interview on CBS (thanks to YouTube), and if her performance at the upcoming VP debate isn't substantially better, she may end up ridiculed by all except the diehard thirty percent who still think Goober's doing a fine job.

As still another sign that civilization in this country is crumbling, there's speculation the Repubs want to stage the wedding between Levi and Bristol on national television before the election. Levi is the self-described redneck who likes to fuck around with his boys, and Bristol is the Spaylin daughter that Levi knocked up. That's just what this election needs: a massive injection of Jerry Springer-style white trash appeal. At the risk of repeating myself-- contempt, contempt, contempt.

Saved Girl, in her own words

Kathleen Parker: How to solve this Palin problem? News for Dallas, Texas Dallas Morning News Opinion: Viewpoints:

Comment by SavedGirl: 2 hours ago

"The arthur of this article is a hater. Just look at the way the CBS interview with Katy Corick was edited to make Palin look like a bufoon. She did just fabulos when Shawn Hannity interviewed her, See the difference between a hostile journalist and a fair and balanced journalist."

The column by Kathleen Parker at the link suggests that Spaylin withdraw from the contest for the good of the country and women everywhere. This attracted the response from Saved Girl in italics. The only thing Saved Girl has been saved from is a solid broad-based education. Of course, it's possible someone posted this as a joke, trying to ridicule Spaylinites and characterize them as idiots.

If it's authentic ? Based on spelling and punctuation alone this gets an F, not to mention the overwhelming stupidity of the premise. As satire ? Definitely worth an A.

Another Ma Mayberry comment

Putting it as politely as possible, the kindest euphemism I can come up with for the mentality of the typical Republican is shallow. That's shallow, as in not very deep. The enthusiasm of the conservative tribe for Ma Mayberry is the necessary proof. Republicans must be the most easily impressed fools on the planet.

I take it back, I didn't mean it... please forget the things I said.
I take it back, I'm sorry, I must have been out of my head.

From "I Take It Back" as sung by Sandy Posey, c. 1967

Added 9:28 am, Friday 26 September: Here's how bad it's become. Even Kathleen Parker, the sycophantic GOP apologist, has decided Mayberry needs to pull out and head home to Moosefart.

Another trillion and nothing to show for it ?

The reasons for the current financial crisis and the proposed solutions are too complicated for me to easily comprehend. I hope that eventually I'll understand why the same people who caused the problem are being allowed to write the rules for the solution.

Goober's presidency has been one damned crisis after another; trouble follows this hole around like a puppy following its mother. Every time a crisis erupts, Goober responds by ramming some half-assed program through Congress which is how we get shit like the so-called Patriot Act and virtually all the other bad laws passed since 2001. The current plan has provisions that should kill the deal but probably won't. If the Dems had any courage, they'd hit the brakes and think this whole thing through, but unfortunately can't be relied upon to do it. Maybe the Repubs will take the initiative and bring this mess to a halt, at least long enough to clean out the nastiest parts of the plan. Once again, I'll be hoping for the best and expecting the worst.

Added 2:26 pm: Just read in USA Today that Cheney is meeting with GOP congressfolks to stress the urgency of passing Goober's plan. He's telling them it's absolutely the right thing to do, and must be done without delay. Cheney being out in front on something = flashing warning lights and sirens blaring. Don't do it !!!!

Stupid to the 9th power

The list of dumbshit things you have to think, believe, say and do to be a Republican in good standing these days is awesome. The term koolaid-drinkers was invented to describe Repub voters and if it wasn't, it should've been. The latest illustration of the point is their support for the mooseslayer. Speedo, the living definition of a damned old fool, had based his entire campaign on the issues of Obama's inexperience and celebrity. His campaign ads seldom discussed Speedo and the wonderful things he'd do to make the country better. Instead they were all about Obama's lack of credentials and his star status. Now the shoe's on the other foot, as they say, and it's amusing to watch Repubs twist themselves into knots insisting that Pea, a neophyte with some star quality of her own, is a totally different deal... ready to lead on day one. Stupid motherfrakkers... and my future depends on 'em.

Change we can believe in

In 2000, after Speedo won the New Hampshire primary, W stole his campaign theme and started calling himself The Reformer with Results. In reality that ignorant motherf--ker hadn't reformed anything and probably wasn't even sure how to define the word. Now Speedo, in an ironic twist of fate, is trying to market himself as The Real Agent of Change after swiping the main theme of Obama's campaign.

The truth of the matter is that Ace McCain's administration will feature only one significant change and here it is: For eight years, the Vice President has been someone nobody in their right mind would want to have sex with.

Hot Chick Jazzes Up Party

Columnists on the right and left are criticizing Obama for confronting Sweet Pea's presence in the campaign head on. According to these wisemen, it demeans Obama to appear critical of the Pea. Oh, bullshit. The problem with the media is they treat us all like idiots who aren't paying attention.

The title of this post is the wording I'd expect to see in some newspaper headline. The simple facts of the matter are that Palin is for all intents and purposes the head of the GOP ticket, and should be treated as such.

Ace, in the months BS (before Sarah), was just another old fool without enough sense to get out of the way. Whatever support he had derived largely from the fact he wasn't Obama, and it probably would've been enough to get him elected. When Spaylin was added to the mix, it was like a massive injection of the American Idol factor. See ? See ? Any average American can become a STAR if they're photogenic and have a little stage presence. The people who can barely keep up suddenly had someone they could vote FOR, instead of just someone to vote AGAINST.

So on the GOP side, Spaylin is The Star, just like Obama is on the Dem side. If she decided to say to hell with it and headed home to Moosebutt, Alaska, the crater in the GOP would make those on the moon look like thimbles in comparison. Ace would go back to being that sick old guy who's always in the way, and the news media covering his campaign would go back to trimming their fingernails.

As long as Ace is peeking out from behind Spaylin's skirt, Obama needs to take her on man-to-man. He can't afford to ignore America's newest media creation.

On September 11th, an American ideal

In many ways it's the American ideal. It's open to everyone and not restricted by the limitations of age, sex, gender, race or physical ability. Let's hear it for... good old American dumbass !

It had to happen

The Sarah Palin action figure captures the essence of her appeal to the fifty percent of Americans who are proud they can't be bothered with that intellectual stuff. At a sibling blog, I declared "mooseburgers" would be my new codeword for the mentally-challenged among us who retain full voting rights and unfortunately exercise them every four years. I present, for your consideration, the mooseburgers mascot.

Gazing into a cloudy crystal ball...

I remember writing a few months ago that when W leaves office in January 2009, we'll be seeing the end of the worst presidency ever. Others may be as bad, but there'll never be one that's worse. Deep down inside, I still believe that. As I wrote at Hot Water Sandwich, all signs so far hint that Ace's administration will be a carbon copy of W's with all the bad news that entails. It will probably be just as bad, but it probably won't be worse.

Looking at the bright side, there's even a chance things'll be better. I hoped that once Ace had his party's nomination secured, he'd kick back a little and start acting like the maverick again, the 1999 version of Speedo I once cared about. That turned out to be another excursion in fantasy world. Ace is really, really old, and while he can get along without having someone chew his food for him, he's too weak and feeble to put up any resistance when somebody wants to shove him around. He'll be at the mercy of the Karl Roves and Rush Limbaughs in the GOP and whatever they want, they'll get.

So maybe things get better, but probably not. Maybe things get worse, but probably not a lot worse. Most likely, things stay about the same, at least for a while. If things don't improve, I don't want to hear any pissin' and moaning, America. You asked for it, so shut the fuck up.

An enlightened view of liberalism

GOP's campaign script makes Palin look weak:

"reverenddj wrote: Of course the only thing that the libs are interested in is to expose Gov Palin on her views of their sacraments: abortion, environmentalism, world wide socialism, universal health care, et al. The libs are not really that interested in life, liberty or the pursuit of happiness since they want to kill babies, take away your freedoms, tax you to death, take your hard earned money and give it to someone else and make you feel downright miserable all the time. When's the last time you actually seen a lib that was happy other than when they're doped up to high heaven? I hope there are enough American voters this time around that can put the dems out on the street and send em home."

I love blogging. It's like keeping a combination diary and scrapbook. I can clip out things that interest me, paste them on these pages and save them to enjoy another time. The clipping above is the comment from some miserable frak calling himself reverend dj in reply to an editorial questioning the decision to hide Mooselini from the news media. Your typical Republican voter makes himself heard.

Thanks, folks at wonkette

New nickname for the snowbilly: Mooselini. I stole that from some wiseass at wonkette, and wish I'd been swift enough to think of it myself. Mooselini.

The polls are looking bad for Obama. All the Dems are crying into their beer over it, but I'm personally not surprised. Once you mathematically calculate the basic national stupidity rate, as I've done, you quickly realize that only one percent of the voters have to take their eyes off the road for a moment until we've again elected worthless fraks like Speedo and Mooselini and added another four years (minimum) to the process of destroying America.

Media cliches

As I read the news this morning, I was struck by the repeated references to Sweet Pea and how she has ENERGIZED THE REPUBLICANS. It's become the same sort of cliche as SEPTEMBER 11 CHANGED EVERYTHING.

All this proves is that I could never, ever be a successful Republican. Nothing about the Pea energizes me. In fact, in my opinion she's a big step in the wrong direction. I can see how she appeals to a certain mentality, and I can definitely see how she appeals to a certain type of white American male. The bottom line for me is this: Republicans are more desperate than I thought if they're energized by the nomination of someone like Sweet Pea, and my low opinions continue to be confirmed.

Misdirection

In show business, professional magicians use it to make their tricks work. In football, coaches use it to move the ball and score points. It's called misdirection, and it's all about getting other people to look where you want them to. Focus their attention one one thing, while you do something else. In the world of politics, what we're seeing this week is an attempt at misdirection on a monumental scale. His selection of Pea should have ended Ace's dreams of the presidency, but if the misdirection works, if the idiots who vote are tricked into looking somewhere else or overshifting in the wrong direction, we're stuck with an administration that'll match W's for the title WORST EVER.

More Pea

McClatchy Washington Bureau 09/02/2008 Sarah Palin's future son-in-law says he's an Alaska 'redneck':

"Here's part of his entry before it was made private:

'I'm a f--kin' redneck who likes to snowboard and ride dirt bikes. But I live to play hockey. I like to go camping and hang out with the boys, do some fishing, shoot some s--t and just f--kin' chillin' I guess. Ya f--k with me I'll kick ass.' "

Thanks to the internet, the MySpace profile of Sweet Pea's "future son-in-law" is now in the public domain. He sounds like a real winner to me, and should be a lot of fun at all those White House social affairs. Alaska has given us this young badass, his future mother-in-law, and Senator Ted Stevens. Not bad for a pissant state with a population smaller than Austin, Texas. There's still a little new information about Pea filtering through all the hurricane updates, and most of it makes me believe Ace somehow uncovered a less-qualified female version of Hucklebuck. While that's slowly developing into my worst VP nightmare, at least the evangelunicals are rapturously happy.

No country for this old man

Based on the short time I've been online today, it looks like the political world has been ravaged by a staggering epidemic of HFS !-level insanity. Ace's selection of Sweet Pea was the event that demolished the last barriers of immunity, allowing the epidemic to accelerate its sweep across the country. I can't take any more. When confronted with widescale political insanity, I've always believed the wisest course is to seek refuge in a really good movie. Therefore, I spent the last two hours watching No Country For Old Men, without a doubt one of the finest pictures I've ever seen. Tommy Lee Jones is at his best in this one. If you can handle the violence, a highly recommended viewing experience, especially if you live in Texas. Grade: 10