Never happened, move along

We believe everything Donnie Two Scoops tells us, so why would we doubt anything that Vladimir Putin has to say on the subject?

Putin just provided rock-solid alibi.

It's over.

The Electoral College voted yesterday, and American greatness is officially over. It'll be up to the 46th president to make America great again. If we're REALLY lucky, the damage this bunch of assholes causes in the next few years won't be permanent.

What if the shoe was on the other foot?

Things I found on the Internet that are worth reading (Saturday edition)

Suppose Fat Boy had won the popular vote by 2,864,978 but Hillary had 306 Electoral College votes because she won three red states by a combined total of 78,000 votes. Then suppose the CIA confirmed that Hillary was helped by Russian interference in the campaign, and the FBI leaked a bogus story about a planned investigation of Fat Boy's business deals ten days before the election that was discussed constantly on cable news networks.

Suppose that scenario was true. What do you think Republicans would be doing today?

2.5 million plus

Mrs Clinton's current lead in the popular vote has passed the 2,000,000 mark, and they say the Grotesque Pig isn't happy about it. Fuck him.

Since he lost by over two million votes, he didn't earn the right to be called POTUS. From now on, he's just plain old POS trump.

Updated 9 December: Hillary Clinton lead in popular vote now 2,841,862

Epic Fail

Never mind?

Are you putting me on?

This goddamned blob of nothingness is the classic illustration of why you can't trust any Republican, most of the FBI, the media in general, and cable news networks in particular. 

3rd Party Poopers

I wonder how different this country might be today if Ralph Nader had done in 2000 what Libertarian candidate William Weld is doing now.

The Deplorables

If we're lucky, HRC's remarks will successfully steer the political discussion in this country toward a thorough analysis of the people who support the Cheese Doodle. Are half of them worthless scumbags, racist slime, inbred trailer trash, and neo-Nazis? Or, did she underestimate how rotten things are in the GOP today? Educated white voters need to decide if they really want to swim around in a bottomless river of shit with the sort of imbeciles who actually believe Donald Trump is a solution to a problem.

Another poor choice?

According to an analysis in Washington Monthly, Cheesy's campaign methods are influenced by the so-called Southern Strategy the GOP used successfully for several decades worth of elections. It's not working so well these days with educated white people. This is probably another clue that in the business of politics, Cheesy is strictly an amateur.

Added 12:02 PM: Or maybe he just doesn't give a shit.

They's Sad

So what do Bernie's fans want? The Onion has an idea.

These are supposed to be intelligent people. We'll find out in a few months if they are or not.

Random Thoughts (Post-Indiana)

Eduardo (Ted) Cruz told everyone who'd listen that the Indiana primary was the last chance for God's people to ward off the threat of Trump. It didn't work, and now he gone.

Trump sucks ass, but Cruz is even worse. That's amazing. I didn't think it was possible until I saw it for myself.

Opinions are divided at this stage. Will Trump win a landslide victory in November, or be crushed in a landslide defeat? Here's what seems likely to me:

Trump is a creation of the media, particularly television. Unlimited free media coverage made his campaign possible. The media made Trump, and the media has the ability to destroy him. This party is just getting started.

Trump can't win in November with his current voters. He'll need to win over people who haven't voted in a Republican primary to win in the Electoral College.

If he gravitates to the middle of the road, he risks losing the conservatives who love him because in their dreams, he's just as insane as they are.

Conservatives who promise a landslide win base the forecast on polls showing voters are in a bad mood. In reality, Trump and Cruz don't appeal to every American who's dissatisfied with current affairs. That would include people like me, who are totally fed up with the conservative movement, the tea party, and Republicans in general.

Trump and Cruz appeal to a particular segment of the Disgruntled American Voter population (mostly people who blame everything on Obama), and they've fought over those voters for months. Millions of other voters see Trump and Cruz as the problem, not the solution.

Have we finally seen the last of Cruz? Probably not. Tomorrow, Eduardo will have two items on his to-do list. First, pray to God that Trump is annihilated in November. Second, check on air fare to New Hampshire and Iowa. This chum bucket's entire existence is devoted to a relentless pursuit of political power. He's only interested in Senate membership as a way to keep himself on cable news shows, and he's already thinking ahead to 2020.

Endorsements

The Dallas Morning News editorial board endorses Kasich for the Republican nomination, and Clinton for the Democratic nomination.

As a dedicated anti-Republican, my interest in the Democratic primary is based almost completely on which candidate has the clearest path to 280-300 Electoral College votes. I trust HRC and Sanders equally to support the political goals that concern me.

On the other hand, there is no Republican in the race that I trust. In fact, the leaders on the GOP side are easily among the worst Republicans to ever run for the White House, which makes them some of the worst people ever born.

Presidential elections in November are almost always won by the candidate that a majority of non-partisan independent voters perceive as the lesser of two evils. What I'm waiting to learn is whether that candidate will be Trump, Cruz, Sanders or Clinton -- or maybe a fifth possibility if things get even weirder than they already are. As always, my hope is that the GOP nominee will be universally seen as the greater of two evils by independent voters.

Aloha, Scott

First, Rick Perry saw the light and bailed out. Now it seems like Scott Walker might be looking for the EXIT sign. At one time, Walker was thought to be one of the few Republicans that might have a realistic shot at winning in 2016, so his collapse goes into the ledger book as a good thing.

Poll Power

Donald Trump and Jeb Bush are the candidates who are attracting double-digit support among Republican voters. The Donald is still in the low 20s, and Bush is hovering around the 10-12 percent level. Scott Walker seems to be in third place at about 9.5 percent. Everybody else is in low single digits...

By my count, that makes 13 Republican assholes who should admit they're only in the game for the free lunches and quietly disappear. Then we could see Donald, Jeb and Scott going after each other mano a mano and settling the question of which one has the biggest testicles.

Kasich, Part Two

John Kasich is the kind of Republican who makes me nervous: very, very conservative but perceived as a moderate because he isn't as crazy as a shithouse rat. Republicans like that can win presidential elections (see George W. Bush) because they don't scare away moderate independent voters who like the idea of lower taxes and a strong defense.

Kasich is running for the 2016 Republican nomination, but Washington Monthly thinks he may be the next Jon Huntsman.

Huntsman was the last Republican running for president that I might have considered voting for. He lasted about 45 minutes in 2012.