Will he or won't he ?

The latest reports indicate that Sugar Cain will make an announcement in the next few days concerning his intention to continue as a GOP candidate. The speculation is that he'll drop out of the race, but with that dickhead, who knows ? Just remember one thing, Hermano -- if you aren't the next president, blame yourself. It's nobody's fault but your own.

Pimp Wimp

Sugar Cain has asked for Secret Service protection, and it has been granted. The godfather of pie claims he needs protection because the media are following him around and are potentially dangerous. Right.

Added 11:34 pm: Pimp wimp's spokesman is "clarifying" the need for taxpayer-funded protection. Now that he's soaring in popularity, Hermano's receiving threats. Sorry, jerkoff, but the first story was more believable.

Superfly

Pie Daddy adds the hat when he wants to achieve the total pimp look.

For God's Sake

Sugar Cain now claims that God persuaded him to run for the presidency. Didn't Perrito claim that God called HIM to run ? And I seem to recall Moochele Bachmann saying she heard God telling her to join the race. Does God have a serious problem with short term memory lapses, or is it that He can't make up his mind ? Or is some motherfucker lying about why he's running ? Moochele is the only one of the three who's convincing when she says she hears voices telling her to do things.

There's always the possibility that maybe God was bored and decided to have a little fun with the election.

Sugar Cain update (Friday)

According to the Washington Post, Pie Daddy's campaign is suggesting that it may sue Politico. In political lingo, horseshit like this is known as The Big Bluff.

Pie Daddy obviously thinks none of the usual rules apply to him. He recently said that people who weren't wealthy had only themselves to blame. Here's some news for this asshole -- if he's being accused of sexual harassment, the only person to blame is Herman "Sugar" Cain.

Added 6:38 pm: While we're on the subject, an article in the Des Moines Register explains why the pizza guy is popular among Republicans. They're so fucking stupid, they think his tax program will HELP them. The shit you have to be willing to swallow hook, line and sinker to be a Republican in good standing these days is unbelievable.

Just STFU (Wednesday edition)

From Pensito Review, on the Pie Guy's Reagan-esque qualities:

Rick Baker, former mayor of St. Petersburg, offering random Republican catnip to a reporter to explain why he’s backing Herman Cain for president. Which Reagan qualities might those be? “He’s a straight talker and he wants to be bold for the future.” Oh yeah, those.

Just keep running your mouth, Herman.

The godfather of pizza decided to start his political career in the top job instead of, say, running for city councilman first. So we're treated to the spectacle of another Republican with absolutely no qualifications for public office at any level embarrassing himself in public, day after day. Now he's declared his views on abortion and he's so incoherent, he makes Palin look like Shakespeare.