Today's disgusting Steve King spew

Rep. Steve King is right up there with Louie Gohmert and Devin Nunes on the list of Top Ten Rotten Republicans (House of Representatives Edition). He says that part of the blame for the softball practice shootings yesterday rests on Barack Obama, who divided the country.

Translated as follows: "If Obama wouldn'a been some goddamn N-----, we wouldn'a needed to hate him quite as much as we do. It be his goddamn fault."

Thanks for nothing, Iowa.

Takeover Forthcoming

There's nothing wrong with Rep. Louie Gohmert that couldn't be cured with about 20 years of intense therapy in one of our better mental institutions.

Update 10:36 AM on Wednesday 7 January: The dickweed got three votes. His own plus two?

Wave on

Wasn't the Tea Party wave election in 2010 supposed to be the earth-shaking political transformation that would put an end to the butt hurt suffered by angry old conservative white folks once and for all?

We were told the Gingrich revolution in 1994 was the beginning of the Thousand Year Republican Reich.

Then we were told the 2000 election (settled 5-4 in the Supreme Court) ushered in the Thousand Year Republican Reich.

Then it was the 2010 Tea Party Wave.

Now it's the 2014 wave, in which five states that Romney carried in 2012 replaced Senate Democrats with Republicans. Add in the Tom Harkin retirement in Iowa, that's six.

At this pace, the 1000 year GOP Reich should finally be ready to roll in 980 years.

What now?

The old saying, "Be careful what you wish for because you may get it" applies in this situation. The Republican Party got exactly what it's been wishing for. Now what the fuck are they gonna do with it?

The 2016 presidential election campaign started this morning, and all the Republicans who are running for the White House will be pushing all the ones who aren't into places where they don't want to be. There's no reason to expect a party which hates government to succeed at governing.

So Republicans need to enjoy their victory lap and gloat while they still can. They haven't had a fresh idea in thirty years, and the angry white people over age 50 who restored the GOP Senate majority yesterday will soon be demanding an agenda that alienates the large majority of people who aren't Tea Party crazies or evangelunatics. By November 2016, most voters will have been reminded of all the things they don't like about American life when the GOP is running Congress.

How about NONE OF THE ABOVE?

This is Sen. Dan Patrick. He wants to replace Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst. He believes that creationism should be taught in Texas public schools, along with other crazy things.

This is Jerry Patterson. He also wants to replace David Dewhurst. He also believes that creationism should be part of the public school curriculum.

This is Todd Staples. He's among those who want David Dewhurst's job, and is also among those who think creationism is science.

And this is David Dewhurst, who holds the office that Dan, Todd and Jerry covet. He claims to believe that creationism belongs in the public school classroom, but sometimes I get the impression he's only saying that in order to survive the Texas Republican primary system.



One of these assholes will probably be the single most important elected official in the state of Texas next year. If that isn't enough to give you a headache, what is?

Radicals

The radical extremists in the House are carrying on a long tradition, according to a Bloomberg article.

The tea party cult needs the Republican Party a lot more than the party needs them. The GOP could serve America by amending its rules so that anyone funded by the tea party to oppose a Republican incumbent because he or she wasn't "conservative" enough could not participate in a GOP primary, and would have to run as an independent or third party candidate instead.

The people that tea-hoos refer to as RINOs are conservative enough to be an opposition party, and they're capable of causing plenty of trouble without the influence of a gang of freaks who are still seeking revenge for Robert E. Lee's surrender in 1865.

Cash

Lee Terry was just being honest. Now the motherfucker has to apologize.

Shutting Down

Fuck the goddamned House Republicans.

Those motherfuckers have a lot of nerve. The tea party definition of compromise: Give us 100 percent of what we want, 75 percent of what we think we want, and 50 percent of what we may want at some point in the future.

The tea party Republicans are like gangrene. In the long run, a shutdown of the federal government might be like amputating toes to save a foot. If we don't get those motherfuckers under control, the rot will just continue to spread.

Oxy Morons

Tea Party Patriots? That's a classic example of an oxymoron if I ever saw one.

Games politicians play

Okay, with so much national angst in 2010, the trendy thing to do was run for Congress as an anti-incumbent. A lot of people decided that all the nation's problems were caused by the evil bastards holding political office, and they voted to send some new faces to Washington, especially to the House of Representatives.

Now it's two years later, things are still fucked, and House members are up for reelection. As incumbents. Hmm, wouldn't that be a problem? Well... maybe not.

Running off

Today's the day Republicans finally settle the question of who will replace KBH in the Senate. The suspense has drained out of the contest since pundits say the polls have tea party favorite Ted Cruz with a ten point advantage. If the 2010 midterm elections proved anything, it's that electing candidates who are tea party favorites is just asking for disaster. But Texas is swarming with rubes, yahoos and dipshits, so it figures we'd replace a so-so Senator like Kay Bailey with a fucking asshole who's endorsed by snowbilly queen Sarah Palin. And my question to David Dewhurst is this: How pathetic do you have to be to lose to somebody like Ted Cruz?

Added 10:12 pm, same day:

It's official. Texas, a state that is determined to make Rick Perry governor for life, sends Ted Cruz to the U.S. Senate. Republicans don't demand anything from their leaders, and those of us who aren't Republicans live with the consequences.

Tough Breaks, Part 24

Michele Bachmann has been fading like a pair of cheap denim jeans, and now one of the tea party groups is calling for her withdrawal from the race for the nomination. Those fucking ingrates. If you ask me, Michele is one of the people who put the tea party movement on America's radar screen, and now they're screwing her around.

The bottom line is they could've saved their breath. MB has been in a nosedive for weeks, and now even the pie guy is more popular than she is. It's just a matter of time until she's officially gone, not that anyone will notice -- or care.

Protests

I don't do organized protests. In the 1960s, I didn't participate in civil rights demonstrations because I was a teenaged racist, and I skipped the anti-war protests because I was in training to be an army officer. In the 1970s, I was trying to get my career off the ground, and in the 1980s and 1990s, my career was running me into the ground and I didn't have enough energy to follow the news carefully, much less organize a protest movement or join one.

Now I'm a retired civil servant. Compared to everything that preceded retirement, my life these days is pretty uncomplicated. Someone wise once said that life does not begin at the moment of conception or the moment of birth -- it begins when your kids move out and the dog dies. So far, that's been true in my own experience. I have a variety of hobbies that keep my mind occupied, including writing five separate blogs, and I don't need to join a protest to avoid boredom. For most of the past twenty years, my plan has been to concentrate on things I can control and waste as little time and energy as possible on things I can't control.

Since Obama was elected, two protest movements have popped up. The tea party appeals to geezers who don't have enough hobbies to keep their minds occupied, and hasn't accomplished anything other than sending more assholes to congress to make a bad situation even worse. The newest protest is called Occupy Wall Street, and I've only recently started paying attention to what they're up to. I don't do protests but if I did, the odds are good that I'd join Occupy Wall Street instead of the tea people.

Whose values ?

Political Wire reports that Ron Paul won the Values Voters Summit straw poll, followed by the pizza guy and the other Rick. Those three hauled in about 76 percent of the votes, with Mittenful and Perrito combining to scrape together less than 15 percent. This tells me that so-called values voters just get a kick out of dicking around. Ron Paul, Herman Cain and Rick Santorum are never going to be presidents, and there are good reasons why they won't be. But try explaining that to worthless assholes who think the sole purpose of government should be to impose their personal religious beliefs on the rest of America. Apparently the tea party movement is wasting away, and now the evangelunicals are its dominant voices.

Added 11:12 pm, same day: Okay, maybe Ron Paul marched to his straw poll win using the sort of Texas political tactics that worked for Lyndon B. Johnson way back when.

God's message system

According to the foaming-at-the-mouth religious nuts among us, every time something bad happens it's God telling us he's angry about something we're doing. To Fred Phelps and the Westboro (Kansas) Baptist Church, God is punishing America for tolerating homosexuals by killing soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan. Now, the poster girl for the evangelunical tea people is letting us know that God uses the weather to tell us He wants the Republican budget cuts adopted PDQ.

This summer, living in Texas has been like living in Hell. If this is God sending another message, I'd prefer a simple e-mail instead.

Dorkitude

Rep. Eric Cantor is the latest in a long line of worthless turds who rose to the top of the Republican dung heap. His spokesman tells us that Eric the Dork will expect any disaster relief spending required as a result of the latest hurricane to be offset by other federal budget cuts. Tom DeLay was a fucking waste of oxygen, and Cantor is cut from the same pattern.

Pizza Time

Herman Cain, former pizza tycoon who decided to begin his political career at the top rather than working his way up from the mail room, thinks impeaching Obama would be a good idea according to Politico.

Herman and I have one thing in common. We are equally close to becoming President of the United States. Herman clearly understands marketing though, and he understands there's a demand in the GOP for the one product he has to sell.

Is the suspense unbearable for you ? Same here.

Talking Points Memo reports that El Perrito will use a speaking engagement in South Carolina to announce his... wait, not actually ANNOUNCE but make clear he's entering the GOP primary race.

If you need proof that America's in the shithouse, the thought of El Perrito as the next president should be sufficient. The goddamned Republicans have a candidate in Huntsman that I could probably tolerate off and on for four years, maybe longer. That motherfucker hasn't got a prayer and may even have dropped out for all I know. Or Mittenful, who should have things sewn up by now considering he's competing with dipshits and assholes, but can't close the deal -- and is on the brink of seeing his political career flame out once and for all. Mittenful would've been formidable as a conservative Democrat, but there's no fucking room in the universe for a moderate Mormon Republican.

I wasn't crazy about Obama in 2008, and in one of the lobes of my brain I nursed hopes he'd lose because the next president was sure to sink in the cesspool GWBush, Cheney and Rove were leaving behind. I was gearing up for four years of President McCain when he brought Palin on board. Shit... fucked by a Republican again.

I expect El Perrito and Bachmann will fight it out for evangelunical and tea party primary votes, while Mittenful runs around on the sidelines making an asshole out of himself to attract attention and stay above water a little longer. Herman the pizza guy, Pawlenty and the other non-entities will slide back into obscurity, wondering why they bothered in the first place. Meanwhile, I'll rationalize another vote for Obama because the alternative will be too goddamned nauseating to think about.

Breaking Bachmann News

Add Michele Bachmann's name to the list of House Republicans who claim they won't vote for any increase in the debt ceiling any time, any place, anyhow. These are the kinds of claims you can make when (a) you have a misguided obsession about becoming President, and (b) the only people who will vote for you are as crazy as shithouse rats, and (c) you know that regardless of how YOU vote on the bill, the sane people will eventually work out a settlement and you will NEVER have to suffer the consequences of your ridiculous bullshit.

Lockstep or lockout ?

Is it possible ? El Perrito may not be sufficiently conservative to placate the tea party contingent in the GOP ?  Every day, fresh evidence surfaces that before all is said and done, the tea people may be the force that ultimately cripples the Republican Party by eliminating its single greatest strength: the ability to march in lockstop like a regiment of German soldiers. The Democrats can never get organized, so significant disarray among conservatives might level the playing field.