The waiting is over

What took her so goddamned long? Snowball Sarah Palin has weighed all the evidence and has finally decided that now is the time and this is the place to impeach Obama. That makes it official, so let's get to it.

Moose farts

Can we now add Rep. Paul Ryan, the Wisconsin cheese prince, to the long (and getting longer) list of Americans who wish Sarah Palin would just STFU and go the hell away?

No slot for Snowbilly

Almost exactly four years ago, Republicans were strutting around and crowing like roosters. Sarah Palin, selected as Johnny Ace's running mate, was the new face of the GOP and the party's future. Now she can't even swing an invitation to make a speech at the GOP national convention. Talk about short shelf life.

Running off

Today's the day Republicans finally settle the question of who will replace KBH in the Senate. The suspense has drained out of the contest since pundits say the polls have tea party favorite Ted Cruz with a ten point advantage. If the 2010 midterm elections proved anything, it's that electing candidates who are tea party favorites is just asking for disaster. But Texas is swarming with rubes, yahoos and dipshits, so it figures we'd replace a so-so Senator like Kay Bailey with a fucking asshole who's endorsed by snowbilly queen Sarah Palin. And my question to David Dewhurst is this: How pathetic do you have to be to lose to somebody like Ted Cruz?

Added 10:12 pm, same day:

It's official. Texas, a state that is determined to make Rick Perry governor for life, sends Ted Cruz to the U.S. Senate. Republicans don't demand anything from their leaders, and those of us who aren't Republicans live with the consequences.

Like mama

At last, the definitive judgment has been rendered. Obama says he's changed his views on gay marriage, and naturally one of the Palin clan felt compelled to weigh in. The urge to share backwater conservative viewpoints must be a genetic trait in that family.

Snow Bunny and The Newt

The Wasilla Wondermom, Sarah Palin, sees a headline opportunity and goes public with her thoughts on the crucifixion of Gingrene by the Republican Party establishment. Newton sees Sarah rushing to his defense and thinks, " Hot damn ! Nookie !"

Six would be better.

Pie Daddy has suspended his campaign (meaning he's probably dead as the nominee). Romney and Huntsman have defects, but I can still imagine either one as president. The fuckwad posse chasing the GOP nomination is now trimmed down to Newter, Perrito, The Other Rick, and Moochele. Who am I forgetting ? Oh yeah... Pappy Ron Paul. That makes five worthless lunatics who have no fucking business thinking of themselves as Commander in Chief. Donald Trump needs to get back in the race so we'll have a half dozen. Six is a nice round number.

Congressman Joe ?

In today's sign that the apocalypse may be just around the corner, former non-entity Joe the Plumber of 2008 presidential campaign fame plans to run for a seat in the U.S. House of Representatives. Flying ace John McCain carries a burden of shame for needlessly introducing Sarah Palin and Joe the Plumber to a national audience, enabling both to convince themselves that America needs their leadership.

She's out of it

Palin has apparently announced that she's officially not running for president in 2012. In a perfect world, the media would yawn and scurry away to find the Next Big Thing in the wonderland of Republican politics. This isn't a perfect world, and Palin knows exactly how to keep at least some of the national spotlight on herself regardless of anything else happening at the time. God knows, it's not beyond the realm of possibility that El Perrito will choose her as his running mate, although Sarah has made it clear that her role in the nation's future will involve more important work than serving as president.

History according to the snow monkey

SAY WHAT?

"He who warned, uh, the British that they weren't going to be taking away our arms uh by ringing those bells and making sure as he's riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be secure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed..."

Sarah Palin's take in Boston on the famous midnight ride of Paul Revere (lifted from www.doonesbury.com)

Edumacation ?

According to the article in USA Today, the ex-governor of Alaska is claiming the purpose of her current bus tour is to educate Americans. There are many reasons why education in this country is in serious trouble, but if Sarah Palin is assuming responsibility for education, the problems are even more serious than I thought they were.

Beckarama

Photograph taken at the Glenn Beck festivities, and cribbed from Wonkette. These modern-day revolutionaries should strike terror in the hearts of liberals across the land. That 300-pounder in the red shorts, holding the sign, kinda sums up everything that amuses me about the Tea Party and associated cultural phenomena. You can tell that dude has SUFFERED under the Obama reign of tyranny and oppression.

Bailin' Palin and the Teapeople

Most of the stuff that passes for news lately meets the 3-D test --- depressing, disgusting, and discouraging. It gives me a headache to think about it, much less write about it. But when all else fails, I can rely on Sarah Palin to shimmy into the headlines, and she's always good for a paragraph or so.

Sarah's latest newsworthy appearance was as keynote speaker at the national teabag coalition convention in Nashville. Somebody paid her 100,000 big Georges for that one. Sarah may yet run for president, and God save us all, may even be elected. But something tells me she's found her niche in life, and she's diggin' it. She's constantly in the national spotlight, nearly as much as the president himself. She's making money hand over fist and gets standing ovations for being behind a microphone (her favorite place) and reciting one lame conservative cliche after another. I ask you, by her standards, can it get much better than this ?

As for the teapeople, fuck 'em. Any group whose members are devoted to Sarah Palin, listen to Limbaugh on radio, watch more than ten minutes of Fox News Channel per week, or buy books by Ann Coulter and Sean Hannity, is too ridiculous to be taken seriously. The convention Palin addressed was attended by about 600 teabaggers. That's an important political movement ?

Let's face it: Palin and the teabaggers are both media creations that would vanish into thin air if the cameras and microphones weren't around.

Winky update, Friday morning

Winky says that Obama's address in Oslo could have been lifted from the pages of her memoir. That's right, Winky. I know his speechwriters always turn to you for inspiration when they're stuck trying to find a way to express a profound thought in poetic language. To be honest, I haven't read any of Winky's book and never will, but my guess is that it has the intellectual heft of a bubblegum card.

Today's Palin injection

I wonder how long it'll take this internet rumor to circle the globe 150 times ?

Added 9:38 pm, same day: And because things can't be all Sarah, all the time, here's a link to a really good piece by Newsweek's Jonathan Alter on why we need to quit screwing around with these changes to the health care system.

Palin be bailin'

Eric Alterman is, for my money, one of the best analysts of the American news media and how media is used to advance the Republican agenda. This article about conservative reaction to Sarah Palin's resignation is as good as anything I've seen on the subject. The only thing I know for certain is that the true reason for her resignation has not been and never will be revealed.

The John McCain Curse on America

It seems like every time I turn around, this hole is getting newspaper coverage. And if it isn't Sam the Plumber, it's this bimbo.

On separate planets in terms of gender and physical appearance, the skinhead and Wondermom do have two things in common. First, they are both ignorant as hell and when they start running their mouths about political issues, everyone laughs at them except other people who are even more ignorant.

Second, they're both publicity hounds. A year ago, no one knew who the hell they were or cared. Then, thanks to Ace McCain, they started getting press coverage. Now Sam and Sarah are like two junkies, hooked on attention and never able to get enough. It says a lot about the news media that they're always available whenever Sam and Sarah start banging pots.

The country will be better off if these two ever learn to STFU.

Billy's pissed

To paraphrase an old television ad, a day without Palin is like a day without sunshine. The Vanity Fair article about Wondermom has created an internet sensation, and I've bookmarked it to be read later, when I can concentrate on each vivid detail. The slime-sucker who was instrumental in pushing this bimbo into the national spotlight is furious that the object of his obsession is being trashed (again). All that stuff about financial bailouts, Supreme Court nominations, Iranian elections, and national health care is really pretty boring compared to the latest Wondermom sighting.

Suspicions confirmed

As if there were any doubt it would happen, an item in the Austin paper today discusses Rick Perry's announcement that his re-election has been officially endorsed by Sarah Palin. Ricardo and Trig's Mom... what a pair, and now linked eternally as birds of a feather. Life around here would be so dull if there were no such things as dumbass Republicans.

Thursday's scary thought

The theme I'll be pursuing, boiled down to one sentence: It took eight years of President George W. Bush to make President Barack Obama possible.

I got an email from my bro in Houston tossing out something to consider: Ted Stevens wins the Alaska Senate seat, but as a convicted felon is cast out by the Senate, leaving a vacancy to be filled by appointment. As governor, Trig's mom appoints herself to fill the seat. In 2012, with experience at both the gubernatorial and senatorial levels, she emerges as a formidable candidate for the GOP nomination. A big gulp.

On the blogs I follow routinely, the topic of Trig's mom is already being hotly debated in terms of her role in Ace's epic fail and her future as leader of the party.

As I replied to my bro, I heard something on one of the political talk shows that is worth considering. Since the Nixon years, candidates for vice president on losing tickets have never come back to win the presidency. They usually can't even capture their party's nomination - the two who did (Bob Dole-loser 1976 and Walter Mondale-loser 1980) were soundly defeated in 1984 and 1996. Dan Quayle, Joe Lieberman, and John Edwards couldn't make it out of the primaries. Ferraro, Bentsen and Kemp never ran again.

So history would appear to be working against the possibility of President Sweet Pea. But history was also working against President Barack Hussein Obama, and look where we are today. For that reason alone, Trig's mom will hold my attention for the next four years. I still believe that any appeal Pea had beyond the looniest of the conservative evangelunicals was based on raw T&A appeal. How much of her horny bubba support she can sustain with four more hard years on her remains to be seen.

ADDED 12:44 pm:

According to an article in USA Today, Obama won in North Carolina. I noticed that Bob Barr got 25,421 votes that would've handed the state to Speedbump if he'd received them. What if the election had come down to North Carolina and Obama won the EC because Bob Barr stole enough votes from McCain to cost him the state ? That's the kind of hypothetical I've lived with since November 2000. The petty, vindictive side of me would love to see Limbaugh and Hannity forced to swallow that turd for four years.