Sadder Day Stuff

MAGA Monkeys, particularly those who sit on House committees, are determined to drag Joe Biden down to Donny Poop Scoop's level. It's just another way to waste their time, since it's something that cannot be done. On his worst day, Joe is still 275,000 levels above Poop Scoop on his best day (if he ever has a best day before he leaves this world).

Something to read that can make a Sadder Day a whole lot happier.

Q NOTES # 672

After scanning the headlines at some liberal websites, I'm left with one thought: If there were twelve decent human beings in the Senate who decided to quit being a Trumplican and exit the highway to hell, it would open up a lot of opportunities to improve life in the USA.

Donnie Pudd has been whining too much recently about Democratic AG's, DA's, and other law enforcement officials, specifically complaining they're all out of control. How ridiculous can he get? If all those officials actually were "out of control" - his huge fat ass would already be in solitary confinement in a prison somewhere, doing twenty years without parole. 

One America News Network (OANN) is even worse than Fox News, as nearly unimaginable as that seems. Pudd has designated the toxic waste dump as his preferred source for media coverage that idolizes him. Unfortunately for OANN, they may soon join the large group of individuals and organizations punished for being in cahoots with Pudd and his people.

Woolgathering, Part 1

My mind wanders when I'm idle. My mother used to refer to this as woolgathering. Here are a few of the things I've been imagining:

• If Donny Stink Eye really wants to run against Joe Biden in 2020, his campaign should leak a bogus story that their internal polling shows Biden with huge leads in most of the states Donny must win to be reelected. No reason to believe Democrats wouldn't fall for it, right?
• My favorite daydream today is this one: Putin decides the fastest way to create absolute chaos in the United States is to publicly reveal the details of (A) Russia's illegal conspiracy with the Stink Eye campaign in 2016, and (B) Russian money channeled into the pockets of Republicant (sic) politicians. That would stir things up for sure, and it would be a lot more interesting than what we're currently doing.

Obviously, Part Two

Continuing my personal inventory of things that have been, are now, or should soon be obvious:

• Proof beyond a reasonable doubt may be the standard for a criminal indictment, but evidence of high crimes or misdemeanors is what the House committees are looking for.
• We need an investigation of Senator Rand Paul's connections to Russia, now that he's blaming Obama for Donnie Polyp's problems.
• Ultimately, Polyp's only loyalty is to himself, and he certainly doesn't give a shit about the United States. The yahoos who believe he loves them will probably never figure this out.
• Donnie Polyp is the LAST motherfucker on earth who should try to make jokes about someone's physical appearance. 
• The deep philosophical question that must be discussed for the next few months is this: Would a serious economic slump be worth the problems it would create if it also ensured that Donnie Polyp and many Republicans in Congress would be swept away in a blue tsunami next year? 
• We can add Booger Barr to the list of Republicans openly obstructing justice.

Obviously

I'm making a list of things that are obvious to me:

1. If the Mueller report completely exonerated Donnie Polyp, as we're being told, the White House would have 1,000 copies of it on sale for 49 cents each at every Walmart store in the country by next Friday. The MAGA logo would be on the front cover.
2. Any media source that refers to the Barr letter as "The Mueller Report" should be ignored from now on.
3. Rachel Maddow and Lawrence O'Donnell host the only news programs on TV worth seeing.
4. If Republicans are howling for Adam Schiff to resign his House seat, it proves that he's doing everything right so far.
5. The local PBS station ran a news special tonight about the Mueller investigation, but I knew it wouldn't be watchable as soon as Judy Woodruff announced that Rudy Giuliani would be joining the discussion.
6. We need to find out if an Attorney General can be arrested for contempt if he ignores a subpoena to appear before a House committee.
7. If Mitch McConnell is blocking a Senate vote to release the full Mueller report, it's a lock that he knows what's in it, and it ain't total exoneration of the Polyp.

STRANGE BUT TRUE

Among Trump voters, Russians are more popular than Puerto Ricans (who are legally citizens of the United States).

Two Republican congressmen not only recognize reality, but are willing to talk about it openly to the media.

Say a little prayer for dumbass voters

The fat s.o.b. has no apparent moral values, but I have a feeling that every night, when he's finished watching Fox News and munching snacks, Donnie the Hump thanks some sort of god for creating millions of mental defectives. You know, the dregs of humanity who are keeping him Above the Law within the Republican Party.

If you're a Republican politician who has a little moral fiber and self-respect, your choices aren't that numerous. First option is bite your tongue and be as inconspicuous as possible, then wait to see what Mueller's working on and hope it's bad enough for Donnie the Hump that it makes the environment safer for you in the GOP. The other option is to say and do the right thing, and accept the consequences.

As someone who voted for Bill Clinton, it was hard to get through the Monica scandal because there was no way to defend the s.o.b. I was still a government employee at the time, so politics weren't discussed with other staff at the office, and that made life simpler. But looking back, Bill Clinton was a paragon of virtue compared to Hump (the proverbial 1,000 pounds of dogshit in a one-ounce sack).

You show me a guy who defends Donnie the Hump by repeating the "I misspoke" excuse, and I'll show you an asshole who's so goddamned stupid I don't even want to know his name.

PS: Any time Huckleberry Sanders tries to work the press, we get a glimpse of just how stupid Donnie and his accomplices think Americans really are...

Suicidal depression

From what I've read, rotten spawn Eric Trump did a radio interview during which he talked about how all the criticism his rotten old man is getting is making Donny Johnny deeply depressed, and Eric implied that so much criticism might make Donny so unhappy he'd become suicidal.

Seriously? Is this supposed to be something that troubles me, or makes me sympathetic? Because if that's what ET has in mind, he can go fuck himself.

Aroma

I love the smell of shit in Trump's underwear in the morning. It smells like... victory.

History in the making

If things continue at this pace, history will be made. Never before will so many people have started and ended their political careers in the first few weeks of a president's term in office. I just made that up, but I'm fairly sure that everyone who serves in Chip Dip's administration will never work in government again when it's finally over. Whenever that happens to be.

Of course, people like DeVos, Ben Carson, Steve Bannon and Donald himself should never have held government jobs of any kind in the first place.

Smiles

Tonight, Texas A&M won an ugly football game on the road against an SEC West opponent. There were plenty of frustrating moments, such as five field goals instead of five touchdowns on otherwise promising drives. There were a few big offensive plays, and a lot of good defensive plays. The Aggies aren't good enough to beat the best SEC teams, but they might be good enough to beat the other average SEC teams.

After the game, I came across an interesting take on the status of the campaign, and it reminded me that people who must sell advertising to stay in business have a vested interest in creating suspense over the outcome of the election. Like the final score of the A&M-Auburn game, the Daily News Bin post gave me an excuse to smile for a few minutes. 

Zimmerman sighting

The way things have been going for him, George Zimmerman should consider legally changing his name to Verbal Warning.

Sunday Daydream

What I'd like to see in the next presidential debate:

Every time Mitt switches one of his previous positions, Obama says, "You goddamned lying motherfucker" -- then walks across the stage and punches him in the face.

It wouldn't help Obama win the election, but it would be terrific entertainment.

Throw 'em all out...

I read a reader comment online today that said something like this:

I personally think all politicians are evil. All incumbents need to be voted out.

My reply, posted under one of my numerous assumed identities: 

Everybody on the ballot is a politician, and is either an incumbent or wants to be one. Federal, state, and local governments are run by incumbent politicians. Voting out the incumbents at every election won't get rid of the evil, but it would establish a balance of power. The Democrats and Republicans can take turns running Texas, instead of the Rs owning the place for two decades.

Tuesday Trivia

I finished reading the Sunday and Monday newspapers this morning, and here's what I think:

Anyone who votes for Republicans because he believes it will mean an infinite supply of gasoline at two dollars per gallon deserves whatever misfortune comes his way.

Dick Cheney, age 71, got a heart transplant, but there's no truth to the rumor that he jumped to the top of the waiting list ahead of younger patients.

The Supreme Court will hear the so-called Obamacare case. They're allocating three whole days. Side bet says the eventual decision will be a 5-4 vote either way.

It's a sign of the times that some employers are asking prospective new hires for their Facebook passwords so they can snoop around in their personal activities. Thank God there was no such thing as Facebook when I was looking for work.

George Zimmerman shot Trayvon Martin, and everybody but me is taking sides in the ensuing controversy. If the truth ever comes out, half the people in America are gonna look pretty foolish, depending on whether they blamed the shooter or the shootee.

People who make a living printing business cards are taking a hit since the under-30s now use their electronic gadgets to do the things that used to be done by handing someone your card.

Maybe conservatives oppose contraception because as long as the population keeps growing, there will always be a huge pool of cheap labor.

Nicknames

Jennifer Lopez is referred to as J-Lo. Aggie running back Christine Michael is referred to C-Mike. So when El Perrito becomes President Perry in January 2013, it is only natural that he be referred to as P-Rick.

Eyes of beholders, etc.

Some Texans consider evangelical Christians an oppressed minority, and others consider them an oppressive majority. I guess your viewpoint in this matter depends on where you sit, particularly if where you sit is in a pew in a Southern Baptist church.

Exceptionally

Among many conservatives, the concept of American exceptionalism means the American people are somehow superior to all the people in all the other nations of the world. These are the same people who watch the Fox News Channel all night and listen to AM talk radio all day, behavior which basically wipes out any thought of cultural and intellectual superiority.

Never having crossed a border out of the United States, I have to believe that as a place to live, America is the best. Definitely better than anywhere else that I can think of offhand. I can't imagine trying to live in the Asian, African or Central American shitholes I see on TV or movie screens. To repeat what I've often said before, I love this country -- I just can't stomach half the people who live here.

There are a lot of people busting their humps every day to make America the best place to live: the men and women who keep the lights on, the clean water running, and my garbage recycled -- and the ones who write the books I read and the movies I pay to see. But this is the same country where millions of people turn to Rush Limbaugh for the straight truth and would line up to vote for Sarah Palin for president. So put an asterisk beside that "exceptional" label.          

Murder

I really enjoyed the retirement reception yesterday, and am glad I wasn't forced to miss it because of jury duty. Still, my interest in the trial was piqued during the four hours of voir dire proceedings on Monday. This morning I checked the local newspaper website to see if there was any news from the first day of the trail on Tuesday, and discovered that a reporter has been assigned to blog live from the courtroom. It isn't quite the same as the view from the jury box, but it'll do... at least until I get bored.

Jury Duty: Update

I left early this morning to ensure that I'd locate a decent parking spot since there's so much construction underway at the courthouse. My last trip into the place was at least a dozen years ago, and things have changed. The entry was a security checkpoint where I had to dump my keys, cellphone and belt in a bin and pass through a scanner. Hassle. Since I arrived at 8:00 am, I had to sit around twiddling my thumbs for an hour. Fortunately, I thought to wear my pedometer, so I passed the time pacing around the second floor of the courthouse, and did the same during every break in the action. All told, I accumulated enough steps today to equal about 2.68 miles.

By 9:00 am, roughly ninety potential jurors had shown up. We were called in and seated based on a predetermined numerical sequence. The district clerk started the show with a presentation on the role of his office in the process. For coming in as ordered, each potential juror who specified they wanted to receive the mandated jury pay was given a business envelope containing a Lincoln and a big George. I'm not sure how I'll spend my six dollars, but I'll waste it on something. Pay for all subsequent days is forty dollars per day.

At about 10:30, the voir dire process began with the prosecutor going first. The judge explained that the defendant in the case was charged with first degree murder, and that the trial was expected to last ten days to two weeks. I did the math and began to wonder if 400 bucks was worth two weeks of my life and passing through that goddamned security checkpoint every fucking day. On the other hand, I'd never been on the jury in a murder case. I began to be ambivalent about the possibility of being chosen.

Lunch break from 12:10 to 1:30 pm. I called Mrs. bee on the cellphone and asked her to pick me up, so I wouldn't lose my good parking space. I knew that gadget would come in handy someday. Mobile phones are pervasive in modern society -- I estimated that at least eight out of every ten people in this jury pool were carrying one, another big difference from jury duty in the 1990s.

1:30 to 3:30, more voir dire. This time the defense attorney runs the show. A lot of questions intended to unearth potential prejudicial thinking that might land his client in the slammer for up to 99 years. All in all, voir dire is a good refresher course in jurisprudence for the layman.

At 3:30, we're sent out into the corridors again while the two sides undertake the strike process, each team striking as many as ten prospective jurors to improve their chances of getting the verdict they want. I spend the time, roughly an hour, pacing and logging mileage. At 4:30 we're called back in. I'm on pins and needles. On the one hand, I want to be dismissed, but somewhere in my mind, there's a flicker of curiosity about what a two week murder trial might be like. One by one, the judge calls the twelve chosen jurors to their seats in the jury box, and my name is not among them. Finally, I breath a sigh of relief and decide this is probably for the best. As we head for the parking lot, a retired highway patrolman who I visited with briefly during that last long break asks me how I'm gonna spend my six dollars. I reply that I plan to piss it away that very afternoon to celebrate not having to come back to the courthouse tomorrow morning.