Oh, cry me a freakin' river...

Something that's showing up in the news recently is the constant complaining by Trumplicans about liberals. For example, their latest gripe is that liberals are too intolerant, especially when it comes to them. Followers of Donno Guano say they don't understand why liberals despise them so much. Personally, I have a hard time believing those goobers really are too dense to figure out the answer to that question (Why do they hate us so much?)

I'd like to ask them to name a single Trumplican attribute that I should respect.

Shit Circuses, Fragile Egos, Other Nonsense

Jesus H. Christ... The more I read about how Donnie MF needs to be coddled by the people around him, the more I wonder how he got into the White House to begin with. As things stand now, I'm trying to be optimistic enough to hope we can boot his fat ass while the overall damage level is still in the possibly reversible range. That means a lot of voters who were oblivious in 2016 will need to get up to speed pretty soon.

Daily Kos revisits Donnie MF and his crowd of make-believe friends and admirers. Is it worse that Donnie is a corrupt liar, or that he's a deluded mental case? Right now, it seems like deluded is leading as the greater of those two problems.

The first time I was aware of this problem with Republicans and the House Intelligence Committee was a few days ago when Rachel Maddow brought it to America's attention on her MSNBC show. The GOP was stalling, the committee couldn't get started, and it really pissed me off. Now, let the subpoenas flow.

It's important to remember that Donnie MF was/is the subject of a federal counterintelligence investigation for a reason, and the evidence that he's a Russian asset greatly outweighs any evidence that he isn't. That makes Donnie and every person who supports him a Russian asset in my book. Especially including, but definitely not limited to, McConnell, Nunes, Graham, and every other GOP member of Congress. 

A long time coming

Conservatives who still have a shred of human decency are wasting time and energy trying to analyze how the Republican Party was transformed into the world's largest bowel movement in less than eighteen months. Fortunately, we have C&L to keep the record straight: This turd was huge long before Donnie Lildick was involved in conspiracies with Russia.

No More Mister Nice Blog discusses the futility of Democratic attempts to win the hearts and minds of Donnie's followers. Those assholes identify so strongly with Donnie, they believe he's just like them and they're just like him. That places them in the Hopelessly Fucked Up category

This Week Inside the Reich

The worthless losers who agree with Donnie TRashdUMP that an investigation of his crimes equals an attack against America would have felt right at home in Germany during the 1930's.

Paul Ryan, the cheese prince, announced his plan to retire from politics. This should be something to celebrate, but I've learned from experience that when we get rid of one rotten Republican, there's usually one who's even worse waiting to take his place.

Has anyone told TRashdUMP that the Constitution doesn't allow him to interfere with the Mueller investigation?

Remember when Donnie and the GOP promised their Tax Freedom for Billionaires package was going to make America great again, because of the tax cuts for the middle class? There's nothing that bunch can't fuck up.

Master Planning or Just Masturbation?

Trying to figure out Donny Cofeve's master plan based on the tweets he farts out is impossible, since he doesn't have a master plan, and his positions on issues are subject to change as soon as the commercial break on Fox News ends and he hears something new. I know a boy, four years old, who has the same ability to focus that Donny has (and his brother, seven, has more).

Here's the basic argument that nervous conservatives seem to be having among themselves these days:

• Is Donny's master plan to desert the Republican Party and take his zombie army of Nazis, Klan members, ignorant hillbillies, and white losers who believe they're an oppressed minority with him, or
• is his master plan to remain in the GOP and cement his domination of the party by running off every member who won't polish his knob on demand?

After seven months of watching him build sand piles, then kick them over, I'm sure the only thing Donny ponders for more than five minutes at a time is how much progress Robert Mueller has made building the criminal case against him.

PS: If dividing Republicans makes them easier to conquer, I'm all for it.

Good news for a change

Moral degenerate Bill O'Reilly finally burned so many bridges that even a shithole like Fox News had to cut him loose. He'll leave with numerous millions, and will probably be offered a position in Fatso's administration. But like Bill Cosby, he'll mainly be remembered as a rotten asshole. In Cosby's case, that's sad. In O'Reilly's case, it makes me laugh.

Rep. Jason Chaffetz of Utah is preparing to end his career in the U.S. House. There's speculation on the Internet that his name may have popped up in the federal investigation of Fatso's Russian connections, which could disrupt several political careers when all's said and done. Whatever. Beat it, you little rat-faced fuck.

The best thing that could happen for this country is for the Democratic Party to win a majority in either the House of Representatives or the Senate (or ideally, both) in 2018. There's one thing that could make it possible, and that's for the so-called precedent (sic) and the Republicans in Congress to start fucking Fatso's remaining supporters where it really hurts. For reasons that aren't obvious or easily explained, it seems like they're determined to do it.

Thanks, Big Chief Shitting Bull. You fucking idiot.

Added 11:42 PM same day: And how about that Mike Pence. Is he a pussy or what?

Added 11:02 AM Friday 21 April: Huffington Post provides as good an explanation as any I've seen for the refusal of House Republicans to let Trump Care die quietly.

Face Facts

It is what it is. He'll never grow into the job as we were promised he would. Are you going to deal with it or not?

Oh, that's just Trump being Trump.

Sorry, motherfuckers, that's not gonna cut it.

Added 7:11 PM same day: To a Republican member of Congress, town hall meetings these days are things to be avoided at all costs. Constituents who want to express their opinions concerning the shit storm their GOP representatives are stirring up are being branded as extremists, kooks and radicals, making them unworthy of representation. 

Punished?

Considering the hysterical hand-wringing among conservative religious crazies over the SC's marriage equality ruling, I suppose we can assume that if the United States still exists after 72 hours, God isn't as upset about it as they are.

Unity GOP-Style

Crooks and Liars reports that the New Enduring Republican majority is united on at least one thing: their hatred of Obama.

Yeah, it's been obvious since January 2009 (six years now) that Obama couldn't get a kind word from a Republican if he discovered a way to transform dogshit into diamonds and pure gold.

Scandalized

You want to talk about some tough fuckin' breaks? I guess the House Republicans can scrap those fantasies about impeachment based on high crimes and misdemeanors.

Excuses, excuses.

There's nothing funnier than listening to conservatives offer opinions on why Romney lost the 2012 election. What a bunch of clueless assholes.

Oh, so THAT'S why.

"There's a lot of ill will towards Sen. Hagel because when he was a Republican, he attacked President Bush mercilessly. At one point, he said he was the worst president since Herbert Hoover, said the surge was the worst blunder since the Vietnam War, which is nonsense. He was very anti his own party, and people don't forget that." 

Sen. John McCain, in an interview on Fox News, explaining the GOP backlash against Chuck Hagel's nomination to head the Department of Defense.

Well, okay then. As long as you have a good reason.

Hannjob Takes Gas

Among the long list of things about the presidential election in November that make me happy, this report about Sean Hannity's falling TV ratings would be in the top twenty, easily. Apparently the goobers who watch him on Fox News weren't happy to find out he'd been blowing smoke up their asses all along.

Impeachment?

I've believed for several years that there's nothing wrong with America we couldn't fix with an effective vaporization plan.

Suppress This

Worthless Republican hermaphrodite Karl Rove, who should be behind bars somewhere, claims that Obama won the election by suppressing the vote. That would be funny if it wasn't so goddamned ridiculous.

Damage Control

During the first debate, Obama responded to Willard's constant lies with a calm, courteous and solemn demeanor. The serial liar got bolder as the debate went on and exploited the opening fully. Multiple Mitt's lies and Obama's passivity created an enthusiasm gap that helped Romney come from behind in the polls -- with an added boost from low-information undecideds fooled into thinking Romney's a moderate. Right-wingers loved it, and were suddenly happier than they'd been in weeks.

Regardless of what Fox News says, Biden's behavior last night wasn't bizarre. Biden's main job was to stop the bleeding among depressed Democrats. Mission accomplished. He diminished Ryan's attacks by laughing at them and treating them with the contempt they deserved. I'll bet the enthusiasm gap that helped Romney last week is gone.

Biden's second duty was to correct public opinion on the Romney/Ryan agenda. His goal was to push Mini-Mitt out of the middle of the road and isolate him on the far right where he belongs. We'll see how women voters respond now that Ryan has clarified the Romney abortion agenda.

Biden's job was not to win undecided voters; that will be up to Obama in the two final debates. Obama's job should be easier now that Joe has done his job. 

Conservatives realize that Biden was effective -- that's why they're doing damage control today, whining about how mean and disrespectful Biden was last night instead of talking about how terrific the cheesehead was.

Blow Jobs

Blow on, big winds, blow on. The Daily Beast suggests that Tropical Storm Isaac may damage Willard's convention, even if it doesn't destroy Tampa in the process.

The Wall Street Journal discusses the angry campaign being waged (according to Willard) by Obama. There's nothing that scares conservative white geezers like an angry n*****, so it isn't a surprise that Willard wants to associate Obama with anger every chance he gets.

Washington Monthly suggests the GOP may be headed for trouble if they don't modernize their thinking where Hispanic voters are concerned. Right now, it looks like they'll rely on two Cubans, Rubio and Cruz, the way they've relied on Clarence Thomas, Condi Rice, and Colin Powell (until he hinted he'd vote for Obama). Put a few token minorities in the spotlight and hope they'll attract more like a bright porch light attracts moths on summer nights.

Tweet Sam Brownback

Sam Brownback, the governor of Kansas, is apparently a motherfucking prick, and congratulations to Forbes for sharing its thoughts on the insult to the s.o.b. by high school student Emma Sullivan. These right-wing bottom-feeders get more disgusting by the hour.

Browsers and Justice DeLayed

I'm nervous about tomorrow's ballgame and trying to get through the hassle of Thanksgiving. Today I ran into a problem with Internet Explorer, and after jacking around with it for an hour, finally downloaded two alternative web browsers: Mozilla Firefox and Google Chrome. Both seem to work much more effectively than IE, making me wonder why I didn't try them sooner.

While I was playing with Firefox, I came across some good news. Tom DeLay: Guilty, guilty, guilty. Now that's worth giving a little thanks.

Mickey and me

It's nice to be needed. In yesterday's mail, there was another warm, personal letter from my old friend, RNC chairman Michael Steele, or Mickey as I like to call him when we're having beers. Mickey appreciates my opinions so much that he sent me still another questionnaire, this one called the 2010 Obama Agenda Survey. Mickey's letter said that my opinions, and those of the other people who fill out the survey, will be used to overcome the "non-stop, swooning coverage" of Obama's agenda by the "ultra-biased" news media. Mickey and the RNC need me to act quickly to keep the Democrats from carrying their momentum into the midterm elections. As he said in the letter, "It is up to you and me to stop them." Mickey always has my back.

Knowing the Republicans are counting on me, I filled out the questionnaire. Based on my answers, I support Obama's plans to raise taxes, give amnesty to illegal immigrants, bankrupt Social Security, nationalize health care, stifle the national economy, and create massive new government bureaucracies. I didn't write Mickey a check for 500 bucks to help the GOP "rebuild from the grassroots up, and come back with renewed energy and a strong commitment to conservative principles of low taxes, small government, personal responsibility, and a strong national defense."

My question to Mickey is, "What part of 'go fuck yourself' do you not understand ? "