Nunes and Interplanetary Combat

We've known for months that Devin Nunes is using his position in the House to protect Donny Cheese Puff, and now it's a matter of record.

Here's the bottom line: This Space Force idea is more evidence that Donny Cheese Puff really does envision his whole so-called "presidency" (sic) as the ultimate TV reality show, with Donny playing the best president this country ever had. Space Farce belongs in File 13 with that big military parade in Washington D.C. he's been yearning for.

Bring him a sammich, woman.

Courtland Sykes? Who names a boy Courtland? Anyway, this dog booger is a Republican running for the Senate in Missouri, and he's making all white males look bad. Of course, the ability to make all white males look bad has been a requirement for GOP membership since 1980.

Great idea, Moochie.

Pussydent Donald Turnip (sic) has a new hired hand named Scaramucci, whose main qualification for the job of communications director is that Pussydent Turnip (sic) enjoyed watching him jabber on Fox News. Still, this probably isn't the right time to recommend that health care in the United States be run like the airlines. 

PS: It's been pointed out that Tony Mooch probably hasn't flown on anything other than private jets for years. He and Pussydent Turnip (sic) have the common touch that Deplorables adore.

Uneducated and unintelligent

Research completed after the 2016 election found that Donnie Two Scoops did very well among uneducated white people. That may explain why he continues to be viewed favorably by so many people who voted for him last year, and it also makes the findings of another poll unsurprising: Donnie Two Scoops is popular with GOP voters, but college education is not. At least for the moment, America is under the thumb of the dumbest assholes we've ever seen, maybe the dumbest ever.

No brain surgeons in this crowd

Good Ones vs Bad Ones

Conservatives in the age of the so-called president will tell you there's a big difference between terrorism committed by Muslims and terrorism committed by white Nazis and other extremists of the Caucasian persuasion. It's hard for them to explain why they're different, they just are.

Conservatives need Muslim terrorists to keep their Republican voters in line, and they need white terrorists to keep Democratic voters in line. See how easy that was?

Paid Protest

The so-called president and everyone on his staff (including Fox News) will lie about big things and little things, important things and trivial things. They've been caught in lie after lie, so there's no reason to believe a goddamned thing they say, including the fantasy that all those people protesting the fatso are being paid.

The so-called president thinks because he was a TV a star, he can get away with anything, including sexual assault. Sorry, fatso, different game with different rules now.

Will Money Talk?

Due to epic fail by traditional media sources during the 2016 election, I'm getting nearly all of my news updates from Internet sources now. This morning, I found this post at Balloon Juice that raises the 64 dollar question -- How long will money sit still and tolerate the crap that Fatso and his Nazis are churning out before they start taking it out on Congress?

Obama Cure

We can add a new item to add to the list of Stupid Shit You Believe if You're a Real Republican:

The Republicans in the House of Representatives have a plan to replace the ACA with a system that will be much more effective and much less expensive.

Other items on the list:

• The Texas voter ID requirements are essential to eliminate massive fraud.
• Texas abortion laws are necessary to protect the health of pregnant women.
• Massive tax cuts for wealthy people will result in higher-paying jobs for everyone else.
• Deregulation of businesses will result in higher-paying jobs for everyone else.
• Eliminating corporate liability through "tort reform" will result in higher-paying jobs for everyone else.
• The secret to solving all our health care problems: Eliminate medical malpractice lawsuits.
• The best way to reduce gun violence: more people carrying more guns in more places.
• Turning essential public services over to profit-oriented corporations will result in vastly improved services at a small fraction of the current cost.
• Conservative Christians are the most persecuted people in America.
• Writing checks to politicians equals free speech.

There are more, but you get the idea.

Setting the Record

Every time I turn around, there's another asshole trying to raise the bar for the title of Dumbest Motherfucker on the Planet. Today, it's this guy.

Doctor Ben

Ben Carson has joined Clarence Thomas as a Republican icon. Those two are revered because (a) they're crazier than many white conservatives, and (b) white conservatives feel good about themselves when there are two black people they like.

Ben has filled the slot Colin Powell held before he voted for Obama.

Potty Privileges

Where do the Republicans find these goddamned losers? I know there can't be an infinite number of them, but it seems like there is.

Wave on

Wasn't the Tea Party wave election in 2010 supposed to be the earth-shaking political transformation that would put an end to the butt hurt suffered by angry old conservative white folks once and for all?

We were told the Gingrich revolution in 1994 was the beginning of the Thousand Year Republican Reich.

Then we were told the 2000 election (settled 5-4 in the Supreme Court) ushered in the Thousand Year Republican Reich.

Then it was the 2010 Tea Party Wave.

Now it's the 2014 wave, in which five states that Romney carried in 2012 replaced Senate Democrats with Republicans. Add in the Tom Harkin retirement in Iowa, that's six.

At this pace, the 1000 year GOP Reich should finally be ready to roll in 980 years.

New Hires Update

I didn't like Craig James when he was part of the Pony Express at SMU, scoring TDs against the Aggies. I disliked him even more when it was revealed that he was one of the SMU jocks involved in the Bill Clements play-for-pay scandal. I thought he was rotten as a color guy on football broadcasts. Then he decided to go into politics as a conservative Republican. Now he's hooking up with the Family Research Council. His mission will be to fight back against the persecution of the Christian majority.

What an asshole. No wonder he's always looking for a new line of work.

Bleeding Heart

The Republican Party of Arizona has voted to censure Senator John McCain, based on their dreary illusion that he's too liberal. If God opened a big hole out in the desert that swallowed up all the conservatives in Arizona, it would improve the quality of life in the United States.

Cash

Lee Terry was just being honest. Now the motherfucker has to apologize.

Now in Sessions

Rep. Pete Sessions is the definitive example of the risks of inbreeding.

Sorry, Pete. Republicans lost the election because the national basic stupidity rate is hovering around 48 percent. In your district, though, the rate's much higher. About 58 percent, in fact.

Scared Stiff

Ed Kilgore of the Washington Monthly writes about the extent to which the Republican Party relies on fear-mongering tactics. The only people buying the shit they're selling are people who are scared shitless.

"Liberalism is trust of the people tempered by prudence. Conservatism is distrust of the people tempered by fear." 

William E. Gladstone (British Statesman)

School Days

South Dakota has a new law that should improve the academic performance of public school students. The redder the state, the crazier the shit its legislature will crap out. You can take it to the bank.

Dumbasses

There's a reason people who rely on the Fox News Channel for information are dumber than shit. Whenever FNC dislikes the facts, they just change them to make them better. This helps explain why so many conservatives don't believe that Willard is on the verge of losing the election.

Legitimacy

I need clarification here. What exactly is legitimate rape, and where do people go to sign up?

Added 9:16 pm same day: And the legitimate rape controversy has Rep. Pablo Ryan hastily retreating from his earlier convictions. I guess one way to prove you belong on the Willard Romney team is being able to change your position at the drop of a hat.