Personal Goals

Here are a few things I want to live long enough to see:

• Every Republican who has worked or is now working for the Russian government arrested, tried, convicted, and severely punished (there are many)
• Two consecutive terms served by a Democratic president who never crawls to Fox News, begging for approval or permission to do something
• The country eventually divided into two populations: Patriotic Americans (majority who oppose Wangdoodle) and Zombies (minority who support him).

To be continued...

Restoring Greatness

I think America would be restored to greatness if we exiled 8,000,000 tea party conservatives and prominent Republicans. Like Donald Trump, I don't have a plan to make my dream a reality either

Infected

I won't be naming any names, but there are plenty of people in the United States who would be improved by an Ebola infection.

Choices

I spend a good bit of my free time reading and writing. I have to read the newspapers to find things that really piss me off so that I'll have something to write about.

Sometimes I read something in a newspaper that doesn't piss me off. Sometimes I read something that makes me think "Goddamn. I wish I'd written that."

A letter on the opinion page of the Dallas Morning News by Laura Kerr falls into the category of stuff I wish I had written first:

"So I’m reading all the anti-abortion filibuster stuff and about Governor Perry’s intention to try and get SB 5 passed again. I think there is a compromise here.

Put it to a statewide, registered vote. If you vote against allowing abortion, you would be required to put your name, address and Social Security number on the anti-abortion list. If the majority votes to limit abortion access, those people whose names are on the list get put in a lottery. Then, every time a woman is forced to have a child she does not want or can’t support, that child is delivered to a person on the list.

If you are going to be pro-life, you have to be pro-whole life — not just pro-birth."

Laura Kerr, Dallas

I followed the news coming out of Austin about Rick Perry's dominionist passion, resulting in his insistence on calling special legislative sessions until the motherfucker gets the law he wants. My late dad told me about something we called the Black Bean Theory of Government. If there was ever a case to be made supporting the theory, the endless reign of El Perrito would be it.

Anyway, Laura Kerr's proposal is the perfect solution to the abortion controversy, and it's beautiful in its simplicity. It's as close to a win/win as we're ever gonna get.

Breaking up is hard to do

The topic of secession continues to pop up. From where I'm sitting, it seems like a lot of people are pissed off and have lost their ability to think things through.

Rather than secession, my preference would be an exile system. We need to figure out a way to isolate the people who support the teabag and/or birther movements, who think the GOP is too liberal, or who voted for W in 2000 and 2004 and wished he was running in 2008. If we could get at least 90 percent of that bunch consolidated in Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama, we could declare them to be in exile. A lot of the target population live there already, which simplifies the process.

Those three states would become the modern equivalent of leper colonies. With luck, the ten percent who remained behind would STFU and be absorbed into the civilized population. In any event, their numbers would be insignificant and they could no longer expect the media to publicize their griping and complaining as if it was somehow important news. Any time they started whining about their problems, they'd be reminded that residents of the colonies were exempt from taxes and unfair regulation by the federal government, and that they might be happier living among their own kind. This would hopefully encourage migration.

Big plans in my imaginary world

I was chasing links and came across an interesting item at Goddard's Political Wire blog. It refers to a recent Gallup poll that found there are only five remaining states with statistically significant Republican majorities: Utah, Idaho, Wyoming, Alaska, and Nebraska. In one of my occasional political fantasies, I'm the supreme ruler of the United States, with absolute authority to do whatever I think will make the country a better place. One of my initiatives would be large-scale confinement of conservatives in massive rural detention facilities, and now I've confirmed the sites for the centers. Utah and Idaho would get three each, with two in Wyoming. Alaska is too cold, and Nebraska has produced a few decent Repubs like Chuck Hagel, so I'd build there only as a last resort.

Until construction was complete and the logistics of transporting thousands of rightwing morons to the centers were worked out, my system of confiscatory taxation would be in place. After Limbaugh, Hannity, Coulter and all the others were wards of the state, they'd have no income to tax. The loss of revenue would be offset by an overall reduction in the cultural pollution they generate. Anyway, that's the outline of my plan.

So long, 43... Howdy, 44...

Today, January 20th, the nation scraped Bush 43 off the sole of its shoe, and strapped on the shiny new Obama roller skates. I watched an hour of the cable news coverage this morning, including the entire inaugural address. From what I could see on television, it looked like Obama attracted a pretty fair turnout, like an ocean of people, nearly two million by one estimate I heard. A televised moment worth remembering -- Chief Justice Roberts mixing up the oath of office and Obama's grin which seemed to say, "You wouldn't have this job if it had been up to me." I also got a kick out of the expression on W's face while he listened to Obama reel off the long list of things that will be done differently starting now.

This afternoon I was running errands and listened to a little of Hannity's show on AM radio. I didn't think the conservatives could give it a rest for one day, and I was right. Bitch, bitch, bitch. I remember how I felt on inauguration day in 2001, so I can understand what people like Hannity and his listeners are going through... it's tough when the country tells your party to pound sand. There's a remote possibility that Obama will catch the breaks and things will get better before 2010, which puts additional pressure on the Republicans. After running the show for so many years, the thought of being on the back bench for a long time has them in a snit.

One down, one to go

With all the distractions around Christmas, I lost track of the news and as a result, I haven't spent as much time on the blogs as I'd like. Tonight, the pretend gunfighter went on television to give his so-called farewell address. This is something I don't remember any previous presidents doing, but W has done a lot of stuff no previous presidents did. Anyway, I guess it'll be W's final speech since the new guy gets his job on Tuesday. His last speech, and I didn't watch it. I didn't watch his first one, either -- or any of the ones in between. One of the few accomplishments of my life is surviving eight years of that fuckwad without seeing any of his speeches. I always read about them, which was enough in itself to make me sick.

According to some blogs, W's job approval is soaring as the end draws near - up to 34 percent as I recall. Apparently, nearly all the approval is coming from Republicans, many of whom had turned off on W last fall. Guess the prospect of the N in the White House has The W looking better to them now. What a bunch of losers.

Tom Craddick is out as speaker of the Texas House of Representatives, and soon W will be back in Texas wondering where everybody went. I think the applicable expression is, "Sayonara, motherfuckers."

Exercising raw power

Limbaugh, the stain in America's underwear, recently signed a contract worth 400 million, and now cheap imitation Sean Hannity has been given a contract worth 100 mil. If I'm ever in charge of the country, my first official act will be to establish new laws under which all conservatives working in the radio, television, and print media are required to pay steep confiscatory income tax rates. In Limbaugh's case, the rate will be everything he makes exceeding nine dollars per month. Someone who's only semi-disgusting like George Will will get to keep 39 dollars per week, but assholes like Kristol and Krauthammer will be limited to 14 dollars a week. Hannjob, who's repulsive but not quite as sickening as Limbaugh, would keep twenty dollars per month. In Ann Coulter's case, the rate would be 100 percent just on general principles; I'll take every last dime. As a rule of thumb, the more often you appear on Fox News the larger your tax bill. An exception for Limbaugh, who seldom does television but still pays dearly.

The numerous benefits of my new tax laws should be obvious.