Saturday, October 18, 2014

We Not Skrong

Reactions to a 59-0 pronging by the Crimson Tide:

After watching A&M's football team piss away one halftime lead after another in 2011, I didn't have high hopes for the 2012 edition, especially when I learned the quarterback would be a redshirt freshman I'd never heard of named Johnny Manziel.

When I saw Manziel play in a close loss to Florida, I realized he had the potential to make games interesting, but I didn't realize then just how interesting things would get. Texas A&M won games against Ole Miss (30-27) and Louisiana Tech (59-57) they would have lost without the miracle plays Manziel created in the 4th quarters of each. By the end of the season, I began to wonder how good A&M would be if Manziel couldn't play due to an injury.

In 2012, the A&M defense had its shaky moments, and in 2013, it collapsed completely. The team still won games, but only because of the yardage and points that Manziel was able to generate. When he was injured in the second half of the season, Manziel wasn't able to pull off miracles, and the Aggies dropped games against Auburn, LSU and Missouri (two of which were winnable had Manziel been at peak efficiency).

I didn't expect much from the 2014 edition of A&M football. Manziel and Evans went to the NFL, and I doubted the defense would have improved much between January and August. Four SEC West teams the Aggies swept in 2012 (Arkansas, Auburn, and the two Mississippi schools) had improved significantly since then, so the schedule looked more challenging. I expected A&M would be 5-3 after eight games, with losses to South Carolina, Alabama, and either Ole Miss or Mississippi State. I penciled in probable losses to Auburn, LSU and Missouri, and decided the Aggies would finish the regular season at 6-6, with a best-case scenario of 8-4 if some of the preseason Top 25 picks weren't as good as expected. I was prepared to see a lot of 45-38 games, with the Aggies winning about half of them.

The Aggies are 5-3 tonight, exactly where I expected them to be. But I believed the team would be competitive, even against the strongest opponents. Instead, A&M played one good game, the opening week upset of South Carolina. They started their decline the next week, but it was barely noticed because it came against Lamar. Every week, they slipped another few notches, and by the Arkansas game, they needed several lucky breaks to escape with an overtime win. The wheels came completely off against Mississippi State.

As things stand now, Texas A&M is to the SEC West what Vanderbilt is to the SEC East. They're the closest thing to a sure win on every division rival's schedule. Against the Tide, the whole team was just going through the motions. As a result, the most vulnerable Alabama team Saban has fielded in years was able to hand the Aggies their worst ass-whipping since Franchione's 2003 team was blasted 77-0 by Oklahoma.

I don't see how the A&M coaches can find ways to win games against Auburn, Missouri and LSU with a bunch of players who've lost interest and lack fundamental skills. Without a miracle finish, I expect a long, slow-burning fuse will be lit, and it will only be a matter of time until Sumlin joins Franchione and Sherman on the seemed like a good idea at the time list of former head coaches.

From what I saw, a stiff breeze would provide more resistance than the Aggie defense. So stick a fork in 'em... they're done.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014


I updated the Basic Stupidity Rate (BSR) calculations for the United States and Texas using data from archives of the federal government for the presidential elections held between 2000 and 2012. The national BSR is 47.809 percent, but the Texas BSR is a whopping 10.44 percent higher (58.25 percent). That explains a lot. For example, it explains why this sleazy creep is in the U.S. Senate.

It explains why this pussy is a state senator and could be the next Lt. Governor of Texas.

And  it explains how someone like this asshole could serve as a U.S. Representative.

Saturday, August 23, 2014


Indicted felon Rick Perry. You know, I like the way that rolls off the tongue.

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

The waiting is over

What took her so goddamned long? Snowball Sarah Palin has weighed all the evidence and has finally decided that now is the time and this is the place to impeach Obama. That makes it official, so let's get to it.