It's All Slipping Away, Mister Cheez Doodles.

Cheez Doodles are those crispy snacks that look like little orange dried dog turds, so that will be another nickname for Don Old. He'll also be called Captain Thunderfartz around here, after reports that he's been grabbing naps and cutting cheese in the courtroom while his NYC election interference trial unfolds.

Cheez Doodles holds the distinction of being the first so-called American precedent (sic)

•  to lose the popular vote in consecutive elections
•  to be impeached twice during a single term
•  to transform the GOP into the first pro-Russia party in the USA 
• to be the first precedent (sic) prosecuted for committing felonies.

Due to amazing malignant narcissism, Thunderfartz believes he's the most popular and important person in the world. He whines and complains constantly about the mistreatment he's forced to suffer. He's demented enough to believe that mobs of his fanatic fans are being prevented by police forces from staging massive protests at courthouses around the country, supporting him in his time of historic persecution.

It hasn't occurred to the idiot that most Americans are just plain exhausted after coping with his damned foolishness and corruption for eight years, and listening to his broken record of complaints since the 2020 election. Most of us will be happy if he's permanently removed from the political and media spotlights by the end of this year.

Monday Miseries

Don Old Thunderfartz is using (Not) Truth (Anti) Social to announce the newest configuration of his position on abortion, which will be reconfigured within minutes if the fury among MAGA Maggots reaches anticipated levels.

Make America Puke Again

It's slightly comforting to know there are still true Christians (capitalized) who are offended by Don Old Thunderfartz and his repulsive effort to hustle $60.00 bibles during Easter week, especially bibles that are tangled up in politics like the Lee Greenwood versions.

I'm sorry, but if this useless barrel of disease and decay is now the official spokesman and leading proponent of christianity (sic), you can deal me out and keep my share. 

Monday Fun

 Someone needs to take Darth Pumpkin out behind the shed and explain the facts of life to his worthless ass: If he can't pay the $464,000,000 now, he shouldn't have committed the fraud and falsified the financial records back then. So quit whining and GFY.

While he's at it, he should stop bitching about the media reporting his furious generalizations that national bloodbaths would occur if he doesn't win the next election. Pumpkin has the communication skills of a third-grade D student.

Sunday Scramble

 I was passing time earlier and read a forum post at DU about a guy whose migraine headaches were caused by tapeworms laying eggs in his brain, the result of eating under-cooked bacon. It was pretty sickening, As I finished reading, I realized tapeworm infestations in the human brain are a suitable metaphor when discussing Darth Pumpkin and his MAGA Magoos.

It's too bad that real life isn't like the best modern action movies. If it was, a special team of amazing superheroes would have already assembled and would be planning how to permanently protect the world from Darth Pumpkin before Memorial Day.

Never make the unfortunate mistake of believing you've seen Republicans at their worst. Now that they're the MAGA Magoos, led exclusively by Darth Pumpkin, they never reach the bottom of the barrel.

Sadder Daze II

Holy shit, tell me this can't be true! Dudley Toadfartz (known to Joe B as The Sick Fuck, or TSF for short) has told reporters that Texan Greg Abutt is on his short list of potential VP running mates. There were already at least 10,999 solid reasons to convict TSF on all 91 felony counts and lock him up for a minimum of ten years, and now there are 11,000. There are hints being dropped that Texan Greg might not be as overjoyed as TSF expected him to be.

Sadder Daze

Donny Dimwit made a lengthy speech at a Black Conservative Federation event that was apparently also attended by a significant number of white folks. Now he's apparently convinced himself that because he's been indicted for multiple felonies, many black voters will switch their support from the Democratic Party to MAGA. If he actually believes that, Dimwit's stupider than a shit-eating hound dog.

If black voters really are moving to MAGA, they obviously need comprehensive refresher courses in white nationalism & white supremacy.

In South Carolina MAGA primary, with about 90% of the votes counted, Dimwit leads Nikki Haley 60%-40%. Imagine that: roughly forty percent of (R) voters want somebody other than Dimwit. He can't lose that many (R) voters in November and still win.