Monday, April 8, 2024

Monday Miseries

Don Old Thunderfartz is using (Not) Truth (Anti) Social to announce the newest configuration of his position on abortion, which will be reconfigured within minutes if the fury among MAGA Maggots reaches anticipated levels.

Friday, March 29, 2024

Make America Puke Again

It's slightly comforting to know there are still true Christians (capitalized) who are offended by Don Old Thunderfartz and his repulsive effort to hustle $60.00 bibles during Easter week, especially bibles that are tangled up in politics like the Lee Greenwood versions.

I'm sorry, but if this useless barrel of disease and decay is now the official spokesman and leading proponent of christianity (sic), you can deal me out and keep my share. 

Monday, March 18, 2024

Monday Fun

 Someone needs to take Darth Pumpkin out behind the shed and explain the facts of life to his worthless ass: If he can't pay the $464,000,000 now, he shouldn't have committed the fraud and falsified the financial records back then. So quit whining and GFY.

While he's at it, he should stop bitching about the media reporting his furious generalizations that national bloodbaths would occur if he doesn't win the next election. Pumpkin has the communication skills of a third-grade D student.

Sunday, March 10, 2024

Sunday Scramble

 I was passing time earlier and read a forum post at DU about a guy whose migraine headaches were caused by tapeworms laying eggs in his brain, the result of eating under-cooked bacon. It was pretty sickening, As I finished reading, I realized tapeworm infestations in the human brain are a suitable metaphor when discussing Darth Pumpkin and his MAGA Magoos.

It's too bad that real life isn't like the best modern action movies. If it was, a special team of amazing superheroes would have already assembled and would be planning how to permanently protect the world from Darth Pumpkin before Memorial Day.

Never make the unfortunate mistake of believing you've seen Republicans at their worst. Now that they're the MAGA Magoos, led exclusively by Darth Pumpkin, they never reach the bottom of the barrel.

Saturday, March 2, 2024

Sadder Daze II

Holy shit, tell me this can't be true! Dudley Toadfartz (known to Joe B as The Sick Fuck, or TSF for short) has told reporters that Texan Greg Abutt is on his short list of potential VP running mates. There were already at least 10,999 solid reasons to convict TSF on all 91 felony counts and lock him up for a minimum of ten years, and now there are 11,000. There are hints being dropped that Texan Greg might not be as overjoyed as TSF expected him to be.

Saturday, February 24, 2024

Sadder Daze

Donny Dimwit made a lengthy speech at a Black Conservative Federation event that was apparently also attended by a significant number of white folks. Now he's apparently convinced himself that because he's been indicted for multiple felonies, many black voters will switch their support from the Democratic Party to MAGA. If he actually believes that, Dimwit's stupider than a shit-eating hound dog.

If black voters really are moving to MAGA, they obviously need comprehensive refresher courses in white nationalism & white supremacy.

In South Carolina MAGA primary, with about 90% of the votes counted, Dimwit leads Nikki Haley 60%-40%. Imagine that: roughly forty percent of (R) voters want somebody other than Dimwit. He can't lose that many (R) voters in November and still win.

Friday, February 16, 2024

Friday's Fine Day

Under New York laws, certain crimes can be punished by civil penalties, and that's what happened to Donny Diddly Shit today. Judge Engoron ruled that Diddly Shit committed insurance fraud, falsified business records, and issued falsified financial statements. All of these crimes resulted in aggregate fines totaling $364,000,000 and other limitations on his ability to conduct business in New York for a few years. Add this to the Carroll defamation case penalties (approximately $88,000,000) and Diddly Shit's looking at about $452,000,000 in total liability.

Update 11:26 PM: Add an additional $98,600,000 in interest owed by Diddly Shit to NY.

Walking toxic waste dump Steve Bannon is trying to work up pity for Diddly Shit, claiming that so much punishment for so many crimes will have an impact on Diddly Shit's ability to perform the duties of the precedency (sic). Okay, Bannon, what was fatso's excuse the first time?

THE OLD WAY

THE OLD WAY

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