an evening with Joe and Barbie

The debate is over and I watched most of it, although I timed my restroom breaks so that I was out of the room when Falin was talking. I was relieved that Biden was articulate, relatively concise, and didn't make any apparent game-changing blunders. Ever the gentleman, he bypassed numerous opportunities to body-slam the Barbie doll, and stayed instead with a serious critique of Ace McCain. At all times, Joe looked like a guy who could handle the job if he had to step in for the president.

Falin was effective, but after her on-camera appearances the past two weeks, anything she said that sounded like reasonably coherent English would be a radical contrast. I'm not in any way a disinterested third party, but I can sum Falin's part of the debate up in a few sentences. Just for the record, I'm one of those people who wants the president and vice president to be a whole lot smarter than I am. Therefore, I won't be voting for a ticket that includes this bimbo.

First, nearly everything Falin said sounded like a campaign speech memorized so well that she only had to regularly check her notes, as opposed to reading it from a teleprompter. Second, she knew exactly which GOP talking points she was supposed to recite, and she stuck to them even if it meant ignoring the question she was asked. Third, Falin was obviously coached to play up the Mayberry prom queen/beauty pageant T&A aspects of her personality and ran it into the ground. It probably worked to excite the bubbas in the audience, though. Next, she kept referring to Speedo and herself as mavericks. I can't speak for Falin, but Speedo resigned from the maverick club years ago. She kept telling us she and Speedo were going to bring change to Washington but never said what the changes would be, just the usual stump speech platitudes. A bobblehead doll as VP would be a change, I guess.

The only thing that I would classify as a mildly pleasant surprise was Falin's answer to the gay marriage question. Somewhat more moderate than I would've expected, considering her appeal to the evangelunicals.

After giving the matter due consideration, I've decided that Alaska belongs in a special category with Utah, Idaho, and Wyoming. I call it the "Fuck That Bunch of Ignorant Shitkicking Yahoos" category. Falin is added to the "Like Monica Crowley" category of semi-attractive conservative bimbos whose voices drive me up a wall. There were moments in tonight's show that reminded me of the movie "Westworld" when the gunfighter android played by Yul Brynner goes haywire and starts killing shit for real. That will be the metaphor that lingers regarding Falin's performance tonight; not necessarily thinking, but relentless nonetheless.